Hey Sophie,
I really liked how you put in some descriptive words and your grammar and paragraph spacing. Maybe you could work on reading over your story again because I didn’t get this part-
“What’s this?” there, . Other than that, I loved your story and it really made me imagine about it. So Well Done!


Hey Amelia,
I really loved how you described how your feet slapped the cold tiled floor and maybe you could work on putting in some punctuation that was supposed to be added in, but other than that, you hooked me in and I really enjoyed reading it.


Hey Emily,
I really liked how you added in a lot of detail and it was really imaginative. And I don’t think there is really anything to work on. So great job!


Hey Annalise,
i really liked how you told us about Michael and really hooked me in. So great work!


Short and Long Sentences

We have been learning about short and long sentences, here is one that i have written about Christmas:

Christmas. In Summer. Santa. Presents. Eating lots of yummy chocolate and Christmas pudding.

Fun. Beautiful. Rudolf. Sleigh. Christmas baubles and trees glow in the dark, especially the cute little baubles. Santa also gives presents to good children.

Short and Long Sentences

We have been learning about short and long sentences, here one I have written about Summer:

Summer. Fun. Scorching hot sun. Family holidays. Beaches. Swimming. Pools. Hot. It is extremely hot in summer, if you don’t stay outside you will be very hot.



I saw beautiful, pretty flowers, pretty pretty pretty. I also saw beautiful birds chirping outside, beautiful beautiful beautiful. I can see the sunshine shining from outside, shining shining shining. I wonder why the flowers are so beautiful beautiful beautiful and pretty pretty pretty.It makes fell calm, relaxed, happy and peaceful.

Sentence Fluency

I went to the park and played on the swings. After, I jumped on the trampoline and played with the other kids and got really dirty, so I went home to change.

Exercise is good for you and gives you energy. Exercise is way to work off stress and can make your body stronger. Also, everyone should exercise.

Its cruel to keep animals in cages!!

I strongly believe that its cruel to keep animals in cages because they’ll have nowhere to walk around, and they’ll get stuck in dirty cages and its not safe for them.

My first reason is that they’ll have nowhere to go. And the cages have no air to breathe in if their in tiny cages and its also very very useless.

My second reason is the cages can get very dirty and all the animals can get dirty as well. Also animals are sensitive and not like staying in cages very much.

My third reason is that its not that healthy for animals to always get kept in a tiny cage and not walk around.

That’s why its bad and cruel to keep birds in cages.